It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
