small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
