As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
