i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
