Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
