Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
