and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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