woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
