YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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