I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
