can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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