I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
