Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
