Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
