Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
