Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize