I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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