Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
