If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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