as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize