love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
PANTIES FOUND
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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