He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
