You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My vagina is very pro this idea
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
