Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
