This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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