the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
