He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Blood and glitter go together right?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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