If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
