If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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