pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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