Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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