guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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