Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
