so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
