Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
