Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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