I need to stop coming to work sober
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
