As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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