Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
