I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
