NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
