wat bout pragnant strippers??
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
