I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
