This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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