just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
