dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
