I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
