the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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