Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
