This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
When are your genitals available?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
