Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize