It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
