I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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