note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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