Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the day after is always just damage control
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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