The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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