I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
