So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
