Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
