Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Randomize
